King's Aide: Duncan Bryson

Don't worry, that's the only reference to historical or religious figures in this report and refers to the outstanding performance of Thierry Henry this year and this week.

If you wisely secured the services of Arsenal's striker de grande vitesse, you have been repayed with a stunning 106 points already, putting the other big money forwards well and truly in the shade. Those who opted for the boy wonder from liverpool or Elland road's pie eating aussie must be licking their wounds. Other stars of the week include John Terry and Freddie Ljundberg and even Mark Schwarzer managed a few points.

I'm Henry the Eighth I am...

So, I hear you cry, how does this translate into our cozy little league? Well, Keane as Mustard raced up the table to second with a 74-point haul, cutting Crumbs DM lead and relegating the hamstrung boys from the laundromat to third place.

Supersonic FC moved towards the money places with a highly respectable 62, but this week's other performances came from less fashionable outposts of dreamteam, notably in the shape of 71 points from 1897- the golden year and- brace yourself now - a stunning 63 amassed by perrenial laughing stock Birmingham Shitty. I assume this is down to Villa's recent run of form.

At the other end of the scale Roisins XI posted a sub standard 20, and are drifting away from a podium place. The same score sees the Lone Rangers slide toward relegation trouble.

Last years sensation, duck utd, show it was all a flash in the pan by languishing at the wrong end of the table and Oh Sheffield must be raising the ref's attention with their low scoring: Are they deliberately persuing the bogey prize?

That's that for now, I'm off to pray for Torpedo Bermondsey's season, probably in vain

POS	TEAM	PTS	SC
1	CRUMBS DM	458	74
2	KEANE AS MUSTARD	424	74
3	1FC LAUNDROMAT	416	37
4	THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY	406	49
5	SALFORD STROKERS	405	44
6	SUPERSONIC FC	404	62
7	GAZTON VILLA	400	57
8	FECK-ARSE-NIL	400	22
9	RÓISÍNS XI	394	20
10	SPAKATAK TOXTETH	389	49
11	LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS	370	25
12	AOIFE'S XI	62	47
13	TORPEDO BERMONDSEY	360	50
14	1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR	356	71
15	CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS	344	40
16	SOFT CENTRES	335	40
17	BIRMINGHAM SHITTY	332	63
18	CRAZYHORSE FC	326	23
19	BILLY'S BOOTS	324	40
20	PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE	316	40
21	A TASTE OF THE RAJ	307	33
22	BILL S PRESTON NORTH END	306	39
23	WOODBOURNE ROVERS	304	25
24	WHATEVER	303	60
25	ATHLETICO SALFORD	298	31
26	LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT	267	36
27	LONE RANGERS RETURN	259	20
28	DUCK UTD	249	28
29	HICKY'S HEROES	236	32
30	OH SHEFFIELD	156	36