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TEAMS 2001-2002
 1897 The Golden Year
 1FC Laundromat
 Aoife's XI
 A Taste of the Raj
 Athletico Salford
 Billy's Boots
 Birmingham Shitty
 Bill S Preston North End
 Clint Bizzell Juniors
 Crazyhorse FC
 Crumbs DM
 Duck United
 Feck-Arse-Nil FC
 Gazton Villa
 Hicky's Heroes
 Keane As Mustard
 Lion of Vienna Sleeps
    Tonight

 Luke Perry All-Stars
 Partick Duffy Thistle
 Oh Sheffield
 Roísíns XI
 Salford Strokers
 Soft Centres
 Spakatak Toxteth
 Supersonic FC
 The Darling Dubs That
    Play

 The Lone Rangers
    Return

 Torpedo Bermondsey
 Whatever
 Woodbourne Rovers

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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 
MEET THE MANAGER
THIS WEEK: CRAIG HICKSON NO.9

Age: 33

Occupation: Services Officer

Reason for knowing Gary or Neil: I have made various, mostly failed, attempts at being Gary's Boss for the last four years

Clothing measurement of Choice: Hat size 7 and 1/8th which makes me a medium sized big head

Fascinating fact:I once appeared in front of 5,000 people at the Royal Albert Hall to deliver a speech and got to chat to various celebs in the Green Room beforehand. My three minutes of fame - very scary though.

Teams: Atheltico Salford and Salford Strokers

What's it like being Gary's boss? I am not really sure, can't say either he or I have really noticed.

What does it feel like to have all your staff beat you in the Dream Team competition every year?Heartbreaking, but simply goes to prove that the best man managers don't always get the results they deserve.

Apparently, you only got into football 2 years ago. Would you describe yourself as a glory-hunter? No I followed Man Utd as a wee lad in Blackpool in the seventies during the days of McIlroy, and the Greenoff brothers , but then other adolescent pursuits became far more interesting...Two years ago I was forced to subscribe to Sky football to satisfy my parents on a visit to London, you had to sign up for three months so I was too tight to let it go to waste, so started watching. The rest as they say is history.

What's your favourite condiment to have on your prawn-butty at half-time? Brown sauce

Where do you think your teams will finish this season? Lower table again for Athletico Salford, but with some shrewd transfers in the new year I have higher (mid table) hopes for the Strokers

Who do you most want to beat? Mark Darnbrook cos he was just SO smug last year while he was top of the table.

If you had a gun but only ten bullets, which of your players would you spare? Graham, Le Saux - we could have deep and meaningful discussions on art, literature and do the Guardian crossword together.

And which one would most likely get shot ten times?Probably Martin Keown, due to this season's performance and after all he is a Gunner (apologies).

Did you enjoy being top of the League? The brief spell made me dizzy for almost two weeks, I feel now though I am to go the same way as Villa last Season and make a slow and steady slide down the table.

Is your Dad enjoying this year's competition even though he is perennially at the bottom? Thankfully his PC is playing up so he relies on me for updates, as far as he is concerned he is doing quite well...

Finally, how much does Gary actually earn? Gary earns a salary commensurate with his experience and knowledge, the rest I give him so he can at least afford to eat and rent a home.

Is he getting a Christmas bonus this year? Yes a whole week off work

 
PREVIOUS MANAGERS
Clare Devaney
Ron Voce
Ashish Shah
Duncan Bryson
Nick Fletcher
Dave Nicholson
Nity Raj
Simon Stoker
Craig Hickson