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    Tonight

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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 

BERMONDSEY FOR THE DOUBLE
Santa's little helper: Duncan Bryson

Happy new year fellow dreamteamers! I trust you had a pleasant festive season and are now wondering how every other team in the country can be sooo useless as to let Manure back into the title race. F*ck, F*ck, F*ck!! Ah well, that tenner from Neil will be some consolation (Ha! - webmonkey editor).

Performances in the real league equal points in our league, and Ruud Van Nistelrooy is pushing Thierry Henry close for the title of capo cannonieri and number one point scorer, Ryan Giggs has shown he is really rather good with a few goals and a star man performance and even the much maligned defence is getting a few points (go on Gary Neville, you're a star!)

Some Bermondsey Boys celebrate the only goal that mattered over Christmas
Good performances are not limited to those who play in Red, however. Mark Viduka, having done a reasonble impression of useless fat aussie for most of the season is actually doing quite well, leaving me in a quandry in the transfer market and not quite so upset when people say I look like him. James Beattie has found his shooting boots for the lowly saints, as, for Chelsea, has last year's super sub turned this year's star Eidur "Better than Ronaldo" Gudjohnson.

If you don't fancy any of these boys in the upcoming transfer scramble, how about going for one of the players who is looking to turn around their form by moving to a better outfit? Fowler leaving the struggling scousers for big spending Leeds? Andy cole getting some first team games with Blackburn? Or Paolo Di Canio cancelling his membership at Chariots Men's Spa to sample the delights of Canal Street? All could be good gambles.

In the table my team is doing well, up to 7th from 11th, if my transfers work out I'll be in with a shout. Torpedo are hitting form at the right time for the cup, and with a by in the first round must rank amongst the favourites. Ash is establishing a healthy lead at the top, while mark and Rob cling on to the podium places.

Supersonic FC are starting to slip, which you would think would give Neil a chance to restore some pride against his wife/sister/mum/all three (he is from the east end) were it not for the fact that Crazyhorse were wallowing at the wrong end of the table. Joining our erstwhile compere in the nether regions of performance is Cory Tallant, who does very well in the posh paper's leagues but obviously can't quite get the hang of the Sun's simplistic format. Duck Utd are doing a Blackburn, and Oh Sheffield must have picked a team to rival those of the Blades and the Owls.

So, no bets being taken on last place, but it's all to play for at the other end.

POS TEAM PTS SC  
1 CRUMBS DM 938 155
2 KEANE AS MUSTARD 872 140
3 1FC LAUNDROMAT 834 113
4 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 811 141
5 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 784 99
6 SUPERSONIC FC 774 60
7 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 767 117
8 GAZTON VILLA 761 98
9 RÓISÍNS XI 744 87
10 SALFORD STROKERS 743 83
11 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 723 93
12 FECK-ARSE-NIL 713 56
13 SOFT CENTRES 703 109
14 WHATEVER 693 137
15 AOIFE'S XI 679 118
16 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 678 132
17 CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS 664 103
18 ATHLETICO SALFORD 657 111
19 BILLY'S BOOTS 647 114
20 THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY 644 101
21 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 634 95
22 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 625 82
23 CRAZYHORSE FC 623 90
24 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 614 93
25 HICKY'S HEROES 592 111
26 WOODBOURNE ROVERS 585 59
27 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 549 53
28 LONE RANGERS RETURN 442 48
29 DUCK UTD 488 77
30 OH SHEFFIELD 376 114