Symmetrical patterns. Don't you just love them? Ron and Cory obviously do, either that or they're both autistic. How else do you explain their perfect scores of 914, 913 and 912 for Patrick Duffy Thistle, Lion of Vienna and Bill S Preston North End? Pure Karma…

Anyway, back to more mundane matters and at the other end of the table Mark and Ash continue to battle it out for the Dreamteam crown. Ash seems to be the victor this week having cut Keane As Mustard's lead to jut twelve points but those who know Crumbs DM's cigar-smoking and fedora-wearing manager will tell you that he is never happy and only this morning his was moaning about Ian Harte's inability to get a rating higher that six in The Sun. What a moody swine…

Michael Owen adopts his now traditional position in the box...

Supersonic FC managed to halt their worrying slide down the table and have bounced back up to fifth thanks to a score of 79 while the Salford Stokers reclaimed their Top Ten placing after notching up 91, the second highest total of the week. Spakatak Toxteth are still in third with the Soft Centres close behind in fourth. Highest scorers of the week were Woodbourne Rovers, who managed an astonishing 96 points, lifting them to the lofty heights of 24th place…

It was a bad week for Billy's Boots. Having been the strongest link in the last round they experienced a reversal of fortune this time around and could only manage a paltry 18 which saw them fall four places to 25th. If they're not careful they may find themselves overtaken by those perennial wooden-spooners, Oh Sheffield, who once again proved that there is still life in the old dog by scoring a respectable 51 points. It wasn't enough to move them off the bottom but they've closed the gap on the Lone Rangers Return to just twenty-two points. Whatever next? Perhaps they could learn a thing or two from the Spaccers of Toxteth who have bounced back from being bottom at the beginning of the season.

Best performance of the week as to go to Crazyhorse FC for getting an interview with the British Bobsleigh Association and for moving up one place to 18th. Is there no stopping this team? (Well, yes. They'll probably implode at the weekend and drop into the mid-twenties…)

That's it for this week. Congratulations if you've still got Louis Saha instead of Michael Ricketts. Here's the draw for the semi-finals of the Dreamteam Cup closely followed by this week's table! Enjoy, kids.

DREAMTEAM SEMI-FINAL CUP DRAW
Feck-Arse-Nil FC	v	Athletico Salford
Hicky's Heroes	v	Keane As Mustard

Now, that looks like something nicked from Grandstand circa 1985...Here's the table

POS	TEAM	PTS	SC
1	KEANE AS MUSTARD	1335	79
2	CRUMBS DM	1323	89
3	SPAKATAK TOXTETH	1196	66
4	SOFT CENTRES	1167	63
5	SUPERSONIC FC	1146	79
6	1FC LAUNDROMAT	1142	61
7	1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR	1134	38
8	SALFORD STROKERS	1125	91
9	RÓISÍNS XI	1118	46
10	GAZTON VILLA	1088	63
11	TORPEDO BERMONDSEY	1087	61
12	AOIFE'S XI	1084	43
13	ATHLETICO SALFORD	1082	85
14	FECK-ARSE-NIL	1036	62
15	HICKY'S HEROES	1028	65
16	BIRMINGHAM SHITTY	997	77
17	LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS	987	35
18	CRAZYHORSE FC	967	72
19	THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY	956	48
20	WHATEVER	938	49
21	PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE	914	67
22	LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT	913	54
23	BILL S PRESTON NORTH END	912	63
24	WOODBOURNE ROVERS	898	96
25	BILLY'S BOOTS	896	18
26	CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS	889	46
27	A TASTE OF THE RAJ	824	41
28	DUCK UTD	752	43
29	LONE RANGERS RETURN	648	28
30	OH SHEFFIELD	626	51