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    Tonight

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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 

THE SEASON SO FAR (IN FIVE MINUTES)

PFA Representative: Mark Darnbrook

It's been a funny old season so far. It promises to be the most interesting Premiership for many a year with arguably 4 realistic title contenders, sorry as ever Chelsea fans...Even Everton briefly topped the table for the first time in 8 years, although admittedly they had only played 3 games, but singing 'We're gonna win the league' in the Stanley Park would have lived long in the memory if I hadn't been quite so drunk.

The sale of Stam and the demise of Jesterveld's Anfield career would have left many DreamTeamers ruing their ill fortune. Surprise package of the season has to be Bolton, tipped by most pundits to finish 20th and last, but remarkably have gained creditable draws away to Arsenal and Leeds, beat Liverpool at the Reebok and did the unthinkable by winning at Old Trafford to the chorus of 'Can we play you every week?' from the travelling Bolton contingent. The cheeky monkeys.

Michael Ricketts - bargain of the season (seen here scoring against Everton...)
Bargain of the season (and there is always one) has to be Michael Ricketts, whose 80 points have come at a cost of a measly £1.5m. I suspect that quite a few of us will be looking to recruit him into our squads once the transfer window opens. Last season's Bolton, i.e. Ipswich might be making strides in Europe but UEFA Cup glory will be scant reward if they find themselves back in the Nationwide.

Other notable highlights include:

  • Bolton's injury time winner against Liverpool at the Reebok
  • Aston Villa's stunning 3-1 victory over the RS in front of the Norwegian/Devonians home crowd
  • Phil Jevons extra time winner from 35 yards at Anfield
  • Barcelona's fantastic 3-1 win at Anfield (OK, so there's a pattern emerging)
  • Nick Barmby's injury with threatens to rule him out for the season (Bitter? Not me
  • Everton's first win against Villa in the league since 1996
With European action taking place, high scoring was the order of the day, I mean week. Top scorer this week was none other than yours truly with 68 points moving me up from 4th to 2nd place. I'm sure Craig (Salford Strokers and Athletico Salford) will agree with me that I'm fairly modest when my team does well so I'll leave it there. Craig's Athletico Salford were second top scorers with 63 moving him up 3 places to 21st. Most other teams scored in the 40s or 50s but wooden spoon of the week award goes to Billy's Boots whose tally of 13 meant they plummeted 5 places to 23rd.

Crumbs DM are top of the pile once again, although the lead has been reduced to 21 points. It's tight in behind the top two with just 19 points separating Supersonic FC in 3rd place and Feck-Arse-Nil FC in 8th place. The triumvirate of Craig, Gary, Clare are in this pack separated by just 8 points in 5th, 6th and 7th respectively. It has been an astonishing turnabout of fortunes for Ms Devaney, bottom of the league after week 1 now finds herself just 9 points outside the spondoolies and catching up Gary and Craig faster than a scouser in an unattended parking lot.

Not much change at the bottom, in fact no change at all as the bottom five remain in the erm, bottom five. Oh Sheffield should break the 200 point barrier next week and I'm sure the additions of Stam and our Sandra will ensure that they at least don't have to pay for the privilege of finishing bottom.

I'll leave you with this, admittedly quite poor joke:

Q. What's red and invisible?
A. The Man Utd defence

Laugh, I nearly did.

POS TEAM PTS SC  
1 CRUMBS DM 548 53
2 KEANE AS MUSTARD 527 68
3 SUPERSONIC FC 506 44
4 1FC LAUNDROMAT 504 50
5 SALFORD STROKERS 503 43
6 GAZTON VILLA 496 57
7 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 434 61
8 FECK-ARSE-NIL 487 40
9 RÓISÍNS XI 469 39
10 THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY 457 21
11 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 455 49
12 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 455 47
13 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 450 35
14 SOFT CENTRES 384 56
15 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 424 55
16 AOIFE'S XI 419 32
17 CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS 412 38
18 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 402 44
19 WOODBOURNE ROVERS 400 56
20 CRAZYHORSE FC 396 35
21 ATHLETICO SALFORD 394 63
22 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 387 40
23 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 378 33
24 BILLY'S BOOTS 378 13
25 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 370 42
26 WHATEVER 349 20
27 LONE RANGERS RETURN 348 25
28 DUCK UTD 319 26
29 HICKY'S HEROES 310 42
30 OH SHEFFIELD 199 40