Being pregnant is a funny old game. Nine months of expectation with little or no idea of what you're gonna get at the end of it. Just like a football season, in fact. And looking at some of the line-ups that have been submitted I can already tell that there are gonna be some very odd babies at the end of this competition.

Of course, by December some of you may have already had the ultra scan and know exactly what you're gonna get while others will prefer to wait. Some may be like Callum or Manchester United and know that there little baby will be everything that they expected and more - beautiful, bonny and full of titles. Others will be like Watford and give birth to a baby with a face like Winston Churchill chewing a wasp after he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down before landing face first on the concrete pavement below. Still, you could just end up looking odd like Ron.

The Ghost of Dreamteams Past

This season Thierry Henry has proved a popular choice, featuring in several teams. Like Gus Poyet last year, he could prove to be the thorn in my side but if the rumours are true and he is off to Barcelona next week then I shall be laughing my little cotton socks off. Of course, when I did that last year half of my time dropped out through injury while the other half decided to have contract disputes with their respective employers so I think I'll just keep my mouth shut this time around. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink has also proved popular but will probably either set the world on fire or prove to be a Sutton-esque damp squib. Nice to see Ron had the courtesy to select Lee Sharpe, though…

So, who is the pre-season favourite? I'll rule myself out of any title race simply cos my team is somewhat mediocre but Supersonic FC has a particularly strong line-up while Soft Centres has a very strong attacking line and a decent goalkeeper. Other notable outfits include Duck Utd and Spakatak Toxteth but at this stage of the season it all counts for very little. As Nity found out last year, it's all very well having a team that looks good on paper but when it comes to playing on grass, they could look like Gary's pants after they've spent a month in Karen's laundry basket…

Interesting to see that two teams have opted for a 4-4-2 formation instead of the classic 4-3-3 dreamteam formation. Will this make the slightest difference to their chances? Who knows, but come next may I pray to the almighty bunny-god that Callum hasn't spent the previous seven months in pole position.

Here's to Ash coming fifth…