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    Tonight

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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 
SHOW ME THE MONKEY!

Ha ha! I'm in the money! And after that little outburst, probably not for long, but that doesn't matter because for one week, and one week only, I am finally in the money. Okay, so it's only a tenner, but after weeks - nay months - in the wilderness, my fine band of men having finally shown their true light to propel me from 25th place to 15th, my highest position since the FIRST WEEK!! Oooh, the blood has rushed to me head…

Anyway, I suppose I should move on to more trivial matters - like everyone else's scores.

It was definitely a week of the Haves and Have Nots. If you still had players in the FA Cup and/or European Competition you had a relatively good week. If not, you had a very bad week. Highest scorers of the week were Michael Bolton Wanderers with 42, closely followed by Spakatak Toxteth with 40. Both enjoyed the rich rewards offered up by Liverpool FC with Ms Devaney - no relation - gaining an extra five points thanks to a late appearance from the subs bench by Christian "zit-face" Ziege.

Dance monkey boy, dance!
At the other end of the scale, the Villa Rejects, who surprisingly have no one left in Europe except for Dwight Yorke, could only manage a meager three points. This was enough to outdo Gazton Villa, who scored four but remain in the Top Ten. The Villa Rejects, meanwhile, remain at the foot of table and have probably secured the Wooden Spoon and the infamy that comes with it.

At the summit, Karen still leads, stretching her lead to a whopping 95 points. Luke Perry All-Stars return to second spot after playing catch-up with St. Reatham FC but both scored poorly. Supersonic FC are still in fourth, closely followed by Bill S Preston North End - excellent - and Freakin' Last. Last year's "gallant" winner, Callum Campbell has suffered a tad this season, but he can be satisfied with his current Top Ten placing.

Speaking of last year, I think it only right that we all spare a thought for Nity and his Taste of the Raj. Last year he finished 13th to claim last spot. This year he is currently in 16th and finds himself heading for mid-table obscurity…

Finally, a quick update on who's winning the race for top player. Having all picked the leading strikers in the hope of nicking 20 extra points at the end of the season, our best-laid plans have been reduced to dust as a defender is putting the likes of Teddy Sheringham and Thierry Henry to shame. Only Rob Hick had the foresight to pick Sami Hyppia and it's the Finnish Centre Half who currently tops the charts with nearly 200 points…

I'm off to spend my winnings. Here's the table.

POS TEAM PTS SC
1 DUCK UTD 119 32 £
2 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 1104 16 £
3 ST. REATHAM FC 1104 12 £
4 SUPERSONIC FC 1070 12 £
5 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 1048 19  
6 FREAKIN' LAST 1031 24  
7 SUNDAY STROOLERS 1017 21  
8 GAZTON VILLA 992 4  
9 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 985 20  
10 THE PORCELAIN HORSE 961 37  
11 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 958 40  
12 CRUMBS DM 943 14  
13 SHAMROCK UNITED 935 17  
14 ATHLETICO SALFORD 920 11  
15 CRAZYHORSE FC 915 34 £
16 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 902 17  
17 BILLY'S BOOTS 882 26  
18 RUSHDEN ANNE DIAMONDS 876 21  
19 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 872 24  
20 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 869 13  
21 MICHAEL BOLTON WANDERERS 855 42  
22 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 822 15  
23 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 739 12  
24 THE LONE RANGERS 720 10  
25 SOFT CENTRES 622 25  
26 VILLA REJECTS 564 3 £