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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 
EUROPE IS LOVELY THIS TIME OF YEAR...

A return to European action proved very fruitful for many Dreamteamsters and none more so than Spaccy Toxteth. Our Clur, as she likes to be known, racked up an unbelievable 82 points thanks to the performances of her brave lads overseas to move up not one but five places to 11th spot. Normally such a result would have had Ms Devaney (no relation) in the throws of rapture but because she was after that elusive 15th spot the champagne has been put on ice, which is a crying shame for her. What with her moving back home to Liddypool, that £10 would have come in very handy when she went to buy a house. In fact, she could have bought a nice semi-detached for that price…

But enough of the regional stereotyping - let's talk about this week's movers and shakers in the fantasy world of football. Loser of the week, but in an ironic way, has to be Ron Voce's Soft Porn Centres. Having struggled all season to stay rooted to the bottom of the table, Bevis has kinda screwed things up by having his most successful week so far. A score of 49 points has opened up a nice little gap between his good self and his erstwhile flatmate, Dave Nicholson, whose Villa Rejects are proving to be so crap that Doug Ellis might turn around and resign them.

Our European neighbours welcome Liverpool FC with open arms...
At the top, nothing as really changed between Karen Wise and the rest of the world. She still leads comfortably and can, at this point, only lose the title. The good news for the chasing pack is that Teddy Sheringham has stopped scoring and although Duck Utd are still collectively strong, they don't quite pack the same punch that they did before Christmas.

Talking of the chasing pack, the cream is beginning to rise to the top as the true contenders for Callum's title begin to flex their muscles. Rising faster than the rest is Supersonic FC, who have moved up to 5th, two points behind Freakin' Last, having scored a very respectable 62. The Sunday Stroolers and Bill S Preston North End have fallen away quite badly in recent weeks while the Luke Perry All-Stars are beginning to look more threatening than St. Reatham FC, who haven't been the same since they were knocked out of the cup.

In middle earth - ho ho ho - the race for the Fair Play Trophy continues. At the moment, any one of ten clubs can nab the award, including Crazyhorse FC. But I have to stay that otherwise my lads will get dispirited and lose heart…Still, the ice hockey franchise have started winning again and currently lie second overall. Hurrah!

Enough crap for one week. Here's the table.

POS TEAM PTS SC
1 DUCK UTD 1092 53 £
2 ST. REATHAM FC 1004 48 £
3 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 1003 58 £
4 FREAKIN' LAST 962 53 £
5 SUPERSONIC FC 960 64  
6 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 947 21  
7 SUNDAY STROOLERS 943 18  
8 THE PORCELAIN HORSE 885 39  
9 GAZTON VILLA 878 58  
10 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 864 50  
11 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 848 82  
12 CRUMBS DM 843 46  
13 ATHLETICO SALFORD 840 48  
14 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 829 41  
15 SHAMROCK UNITED 825 35 £
16 RUSHDEN ANNE DIAMONDS 804 37  
17 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 791 45  
18 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 776 21  
19 BILLY'S BOOTS 769 37  
20 CRAZYHORSE FC 768 51  
21 MICHAEL BOLTON WANDERERS 736 41  
22 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 705 38  
23 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 672 32  
24 THE LONE RANGERS 672 24  
25 SOFT CENTRES 565 49  
26 VILLA REJECTS 503 5 £