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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 

THE BOOK OF RIVELINHO

Prophet of Doom - Rob Hick

"Hereafter and forthwith - and notwithstanding - in the Competition of Football Judgement - which mayeth or mayeth not be nameth Dreamteam, shalt verily be renteth asunder by a Malignant Arse-Gall who shalt go by the name of Henryterence, and who shalt amasseth as many points as there are minutes in what hath become knowneth as Normal Time in those lands that are not the Souths of Manchester, and such points will raise a Black-booted team from the Bowels of Turd - in the Tongue of the Potato Eaters - to the Mount of Table whereupon they shalt looketh down at all those teams that hath totalleth less than Four Centuries."

"This team shalt scoreth more points in one Fourteen-night than the total points of the team of the name that tuggeth its Forelock to the vapid clothless schlockshock revue from the Pen of the Fucksayer and his Acolyte the Wankbeatle, of some one score and ten years before.

Wise words indeed, mate...
"This team of Steel, for whom the Ellandian Harte shalt scoreth exactly one half of their total points shalt languisheth in their very own Black Hole."

"And the Matchstalk-fiddling team of the Town where the Houses are never soldeth, and whose wretched residents didst bloweth their Guntrumpets to causeth the doors of the Hacienda of Wilson to shutteth for Evermore, shalt tumbleth from the Heights, to amongst the Cats and Dogs, because they shalt committeth the Fatal Sin of too much self-congratulation, and they shalt be curseth with Blindness, and this Eternal darkness will thus also be visiteth on the Elicitor of said self-congratulation."

"The Girl-Ponce from upstream of the Bishop's Place in the See of Dando shalt misplaceth his Sparking Clogs, and in the Smokeland he will be knowneth as Pony, and thus it will be realiseth by all who are not blind that he possesseth just a Single Trick."

"And lo! Mephistopheles himself, the Blackerman from the Other Side, who didst see the Red when the Robsonites descendeth, and thus didst loseth points for Goals he hath not concedeth, shalt thus be absent from the long-awaited Second Coming of Unsulliment, and he shalt be the cause of much pain and anguish to many teams, and they shalt be forceth to wait for the Advent of the Window of Transference, whence he might be casteth out into Oblivion."

"But until that time they shalt manifesteth their Hatred toward him, and all those Convictmen who associateth with him, and shalt joineth in support of the Fifth Columnists at the Time of Elimination, that he might be preventeth from entering the Gates of Heaven in the Eastern Lands."

"And the believers shalt looketh forward to the Return of the Good Michael, who with His Infinite Power shalt restoreth Order, and shalt punisheth those who didst foolishly chooseth the way of the Tottenman, or who wenteth Dutch, or who followeth the Cousin of the Lunatic, and who didst profiteth in His absence, shalt be defeateth by Him."

POS TEAM PTS SC  
1 CRUMBS DM 401 123
2 1FC LAUNDROMAT 379 81
3 FECK-ARSE-NIL 378 104
4 RÓISÍNS XI 374 105
5 SALFORD STROKERS 361 54
6 THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY 357 117
7 KEANE AS MUSTARD 350 83
8 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 345 84
9 GAZTON VILLA 343 69
10 SUPERSONIC FC 342 93
11 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 340 88
12 AOIFE'S XI 315 71
13 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 310 85
14 CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS 304 88
15 CRAZYHORSE FC 303 80
16 SOFT CENTRES 295 59
17 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 285 40
18 BILLY'S BOOTS 284 67
19 WOODBOURNE ROVERS 279 63
20 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 276 69
21 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 274 68
22 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 269 78
23 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 267 101
24 ATHLETICO SALFORD 267 71
25 WHATEVER 243 65
26 LONE RANGERS RETURN 239 59
27 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 231 53
28 DUCK UTD 221 46
29 HICKY'S HEROES 204 74
30 OH SHEFFIELD 120 26