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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 

TALE OF THE BLUE SHARK

I was devoid of inspiration this week, so I just typed in a few personal details into a Random Story Generator (try it out for yourself! Story Generator) and it came up with the following match report…

Once upon a time there was a young boy named Crazyhorse. Crazyhorse was 30 years old and lived in London, England. While walking home from school one day, a Blue Shark jumped out from behind a Sofa and tackled Crazyhorse to the ground. But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, Crazyhorse realized that the Blue Shark was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, Crazyhorse decided to keep the Blue Shark as a pet. And on the way home he decided to name his pet Blue Shark "Crumbs DM."

"In all the banks and trains they robbed, they never shot anyone..."
When Crazyhorse and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right, it was Crazyhorse's mother, Linda. And boy was she surprised to see a Blue Shark following Crazyhorse into the yard!

"What in world is that?" shouted Linda.

"It's a Blue Shark," answered Crazyhorse.

"Dah, I can see that, Crazyhorse, but what on earth is it doing here?" said Linda.

"It's my new pet!" answered Crazyhorse.

"Oh you think so do you?" remarked Linda. "I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates Blue Sharks. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home." And with that Crazyhorse grabbed Crumbs DM by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house - even though he knew his father was probably going to dissaprove.

Once in the house, Crazyhorse and Crumbs DM played and played, that is until Crazyhorse's favorite television show, "Alias Smith & Jones," started. At that point Crazyhorse forgot all about Crumbs DM having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through "Alias Smith & Jones," when Crazyhorse was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, "JESUS CHRIST!!! Crazyhorse! Get your bottom in the Bathroom...NOW!!"

With that Crazyhorse rushed into the Bathroom to see what all the fuss was about. When he entered the Bathroom, there stood his father, Patrick, pointing toward the table.

"Will someone please explain that?" asked his father. Then, as Crazyhorse followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the table, was the biggest pile of Shark doo-doo he had ever seen!

"I don't EVEN want to know how that got there," said Patrick. "But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!"

Well, knowing his father as well as he did, Crazyhorse knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep Crumbs DM for a pet. So without hesitation, Crazyhorse set out to find where Crumbs DM was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, Crazyhorse discovered Crumbs DM crouched beneath the table that Crazyhorse did his homework on.

"Come on, Crumbs DM, it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the table!" scolded Crazyhorse. "Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet Shark!!

And with that Crazyhorse led Crumbs DM out of the house and down to the local HMV. They had a pet section and Crazyhorse knew the owner would find Crumbs DM a good home. So after saying good-bye to Crumbs DM, and thanking the owner of HMV, Crazyhorse walked backed home and attempted to dround his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen Lagers. But Crazyhorse's pitty party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up.

And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, Crazyhorse suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on. The End.


POS TEAM PTS SC  
1 CRUMBS DM 1129 40
2 KEANE AS MUSTARD 1112 58
3 1FC LAUNDROMAT 991 43
4 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 990 48
5 SPAKATAK TOXTETH 986 40
6 RÓISÍNS XI 947 63
7 SUPERSONIC FC 943 40
8 SOFT CENTRES 924 54
9 GAZTON VILLA 918 49
10 TORPEDO BERMONDSEY 918 29
11 SALFORD STROKERS 906 39
12 AOIFE'S XI 887 59
13 ATHLETICO SALFORD 864 52
14 FECK-ARSE-NIL 853 24
15 LUKE PERRY ALL-STARS 845 39
16 WHATEVER 814 30
17 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 814 21
18 THE DARLING DUBS THAT PLAY 796 39
19 CRAZYHORSE FC 795 36
20 HICKY'S HEROES 779 44
21 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 771 31
22 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 770 31
23 CLINT BIZZELL JUNIORS 765 18
24 PATRICK DUFFY THISTLE 760 37
25 BILLY'S BOOTS 723 38
26 WOODBOURNE ROVERS 701 31
27 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 681 56
28 DUCK UTD 616 58
29 LONE RANGERS RETURN 533 9
30 OH SHEFFIELD 470 19