Age: 27, but 28 on April 17th, if you want to send cards/presents/money.
Occupation: Advertising, by accident.
Reason for knowing Gary or Neil: Gary recognised my Hawkwind t-shirt (Masters of the Universe album cover) about two weeks after I'd moved into Rosebery, and started talking at me. The rest is history, and painful memories.
Clothing measurement of Choice: 31" waist (reduced from 34", I'm very pleased to say)
Fascinating fact: My dog shat on Gary's floor in 1992.
Teams: Birmingham Shitty, Villa Rejects
Why do you seem to follow Fletch everywhere?: He's got biscuits in his pocket, and a very weak slap.
Come on, you like his cooking, don't you? You are having a laugh, aren't you?
Apparently, you fill his void - is this true? Not any more, too slack.
Who's the worst driver you've ever been in a car with? Fletch. Definitely. I never want to go through that again. Although Neil was pretty appalling as well, Fletch wins because he was more scared.
Which did you prefer: Universal Stuidos or the Water Theme Park? Hmm. Difficult. Universal Studios had Jaws. Wet n Wild had the Bomb Bay. Can I put sharks into the water at Wet n Wild? Best of both worlds.
Are you surprised that the Villa Rejects are doing so badly? To be honest, not really. Brummies are naturally pessimistic. It goes with years of disappointment, beginning about five minutes after birth.
If you had a gun, which member of the Rejects would you shoot (for doing so well)? Probably David Unsworth, for being stupid enough to think that Aston was near Bolton. For doing so well, it would have to be Dwight Yorke, although John Gregory should have done it first.
So where do you think your teams will finish? Villa Rejects: Last, I'm pretty sure, but Ron's Soft Centres are getting a bit too close for comfort. Birmingham Shitty: 20th, if they're lucky.
Who do you most want to beat? If I beat Ron to last, I'll be quite smug.
When you were living with both Ron and Fletch, which one irritated you the most? They are and were both complete c*nts.
Who's roast dinners do you prefer - Ron's, Gary's or Nic's? I've got to say Nicola, as I don't mind offending the other two.
Finally, how long will you dance for a biscuit? How big is the biscuit? Does it have nuts in it? Is it chocolate coated? Define your terms. It all matters.