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TEAMS 2001-2002
 1897 The Golden Year
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 Clint Bizzell Juniors
 Crazyhorse FC
 Crumbs DM
 Duck United
 Feck-Arse-Nil FC
 Gazton Villa
 Hicky's Heroes
 Keane As Mustard
 Lion of Vienna Sleeps
    Tonight

 Luke Perry All-Stars
 Partick Duffy Thistle
 Oh Sheffield
 Roísíns XI
 Salford Strokers
 Soft Centres
 Spakatak Toxteth
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 Whatever
 Woodbourne Rovers

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Last poll:
Who has been the biggest waste of money so far?


1. Jaap Stam
27 votes (18%)

2. Sergei Rebrov
23 votes (15%)

3. Mark Schwarzer
21 votes (14%)

 
 
MEET THE MANAGER
THIS WEEK: BOB MONKHOUSE NO.7

Age: Younger than Neil. Older than Gary.

Occupation: Soliciting.

Reason for knowing Gary or Neil: LSE blah blah blah. Lived in same halls as Gary. Lived next door for a bit. His socks smelt. Know Neil because I insisted on drowning out his sister's kareoke version of Toni Basil's "Hey Mickey" by shouting my own name repeatedly at the top of my voice. Toni Basil liked my version so much that she is re-recording the song as "Hey Nity".

Clothing measurement of Choice: Ring size P

Fascinating fact: The word for "yes" in Tamil means "tortoise" in Malayalam. This makes for a hilarious joke which I will share with anyone who wants to hear it. And lots of people who don't.

Teams: A Taste of the Raj

Hey Nity, how was the honeymoon? She's a little minx. My wife was quite nice too.

Were you pleased that your speech was funnier than your brother's (seeing as his was written by Gary)? Gary always gets upset when other people point out that I am funnier than him so I won't comment on this at all.

Getting back to the football, are you pleased that you're not last this year? No, because I didn't have to pay last year as a result.

So who would you most like to beat between now and the end of the season? Ash seeing as he picked my team and promised I would come at least second.

Do you think you can still nab the Fair Play Award? No. I never play fair. It's in my contract.

Your form is very similar to Tottenham Hotspur - why do you support the Lilywhites? They were quite good when I started supporting them in 1982.

Can you name any of their players? Steve Archibald, Ozzie Ardilles, Glen Hoddle...erm....oh yeah, and Jimmy Greaves.

If your Dreamteam Jumbo Jet was heading into the ocean, which of your players would you surrender your parachute to? Who are my players again?

And which one would you kick out of the plane regardless? Can I just kick Ash out? He's our coach.

Is it true you once failed the height restrictions to a theme park ride? It is true but I was brave enough to open my eyes during said ride (and ride the thing twice) which is more than some people did....

Finally, as we all know, lawyers never do anything for nothing. So, how much are all these answers costing us? I'll do it for free if you'll let me do a duet with Tasha again. Ooo-er missus.


 
PREVIOUS MANAGERS
Clare Devaney
Ron Voce
Ashish Shah
Duncan Bryson
Nick Fletcher
Dave Nicholson
Nity Raj
Simon Stoker
Craig Hickson