Don't mess with my Mutu

How any of you expect me to write a report when both my teams are lying first and second in the table is beyond me, but I'll give it my best shot and try not to gloat too much. After all, it's a marathon not a sprint and no one has ever won the League in August. Except Djurgårdens of the Swedish First Division, of course.

It has been a remarkable week of fantasy football. First Sunderland go and win two games in a row and then the Lion of Vienna Sleeps Tonight brings the football world to it's knees by moving off the bottom of the League for the first time in ten months. And if that wasn't enough, Crazyhorse FC defying all odds to go top of the league, thanks to the first hattrick of the season by Lord Edward of Sheringham. Crazyhorse FC were also top scorers with 95 points.

"Got your number"
Highest climbers of the week were Halesowen Harriers, who benefited from some poor marking in the Wolves defence (that won't be the last time that I say that) and saw John O'Shea score the only goal of the match. Their rise into the top five was mirrored by Nil by Portsmouth's fall, who fell fourteen places. Despite this drop, they're still in the Top Twenty, but only by the skin of their teeth. Other movers of note include Liverpoo, who notched up 65 points, and Whatever 3 - The Rise of the Machines who scored 60.

Goal of the week has to go to Anelka for his cheeky effort with the outside of his boot which caught Brad Friedel out at his near post, closely followed by Mutu's blaster against Leicester City, who seem to have borrowed their new away kit from the wardrobe department of 'We Are The Champions'.

That's all for this week. I'm still waiting to see a Tim Howard interview, but I'm sure 'On The Ball' will oblige. Although whether it's the Tourettes that makes him swear or the sheer incompetence of Gabby Logan and Andy Townsend remains to be seen.

Here's the table. Looks good, doesn't it?

POS  TEAM PTS SCORE  
1 CRAZYHORSE FC 155 95
2 THE ALMIGHTY DUCKS 120 59
3 COOKIE CREWE ALEXANDRA 116 49
4 HEY BOBBY WHAT'S FRENCH FOR SECOND PLACE? 111 46
5 HALESOWEN HARRIERS 106 70
6 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 104 51
7 CREATIVELY CHALLENGED 101 71
8 KOPITESAREGOBSHITES 96 48
9 BANTAM OF THE KOPERA 93 51
10 LIVERPOO 91 65
11 TIM HOWARD'S WAY 89 41
12 WHO ATE ALL THE PRAWN SANDWICHES 86 51
13 STROKE CITY 81 50
14 CRUMBS DM 81 42
15 NOTTING TOULOUSE 80 54
16 WHATEVER 3 - THE RISE OF THE MACHINES 79 60
17 CORNO TEAM 78 45
18 SOFT CENTRES 75 36
19 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 73 41
20 NIL BY PORTSMOUTH 73 23
21 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 71 41
22 DYNAMO DELIA 71 32
23 SUSHI FC 67 53
24 HARDWICK UNITED 62 28
25 THE POOL XI 60 35
26 FECKHAM 56 41
27 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 52 34
28 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 33 28
29 THE MIGHTY CRAICERS 31 23