Off to a flier!!

April 2000. That was the last time I reached the giddy heights of fourth place so pardon me if I sit here with a chuffed, self-satisfied smile on my face. Of course, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight it could have been so much better but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

This year's Dreamteam competition got off to a flier at the weekend with all the big names scoring and those that went for Henry, Van Nistelrooy and A.N. Other benefited the most as the Top Two players from last season's campaign set their stalls out for this year's race for those bonus twenty points. Even so, two teams still somehow managed not to get out of double figures.

"Howdy. Feck... arse... knickers... have a nice day. Fecker."
The Lion of Vienna Sleeps Tonight may face some competition for last place this season from The Mighty Craicers but I may be in vain depending on how we decide to dish the money out. The Wooden Spoon Prize was called into question towards the end of last year and it may be replaced with a new booby prize - "The Man City Route into Europe Award".

At the top are the ironically titled Hey Bobby What is French for 2nd Place while following close behind is last season's ubermeister, Mark Darnbrook with Cookie Crewe Alexandra. The Almighty Ducks are in third with former-Wooden Spoon champions A Taste of the Raj bouncing back into the competition in fifth place. Rumours abound of a tough new coach being hired while they were away, but these have yet to be confirmedů

Tim Howard's Way ("feck, arse, girls, knickers etc") are close behind in sixth with Nil By Portsmouth and Bantam of the Kopera in seventh and eighth respectively.

However, it's early days yet and as everyone keeps telling me, it's a marathon, not a sprint but when your horse leads the field at the first fence of the National, you always think it's going to winů

Enjoy the season.

POS  TEAM PTS SCORE  
1 HEY BOBBY WHAT'S FRENCH FOR SECOND PLACE? 65 65
2 COOKIE CREWE ALEXANDRA 62 62
3 THE ALMIGHTY DUCKS 61 61
4 CRAZYHORSE FC 60 60
5 A TASTE OF THE RAJ 53 53
6 TIM HOWARD'S WAY 48 48
7 NIL BY PORTSMOUTH 47 47
8 BANTAM OF THE KOPERA 42 42
9 CRUMBS DM 39 39
10 DYNAMO DELIA 39 39
11 SOFT CENTRES 39 39
12 KOPITESAREGOBSHITES 38 38
13 HARDWICK UNITED 34 34
14 1897 - THE GOLDEN YEAR 32 32
15 HALESOWEN HARRIERS 31 31
16 STROKE CITY 31 31
17 BILL S PRESTON NORTH END 30 30
18 CREATIVELY CHALLENGED 30 30
19 WHO ATE ALL THE PRAWN SANDWICHES 30 30
20 CORNO TEAM 28 28
21 LIVERPOO 26 26
22 NOTTING TOULOUSE 26 26
23 THE POOL XI 25 25
24 BIRMINGHAM SHITTY 21 21
25 WHATEVER 3 - THE RISE OF THE MACHINES 19 19
26 FECKHAM 15 15
27 SUSHI FC 14 14
28 THE MIGHTY CRAICERS 8 8
29 LION OF VIENNA SLEEPS TONIGHT 5 5