1897 - The Golden Year
One the original founder members of the Dreamteam League, they took their name from Aston Villa's Double-winning season. However, The Golden Year have yet to emulate the team they set out to, er, emulate. After two disappointing seasons, 2001/02 saw a stark improvement in the side from the Midland and they narrowly missed out on a money spot but they returned to their old habits last term, finishing just of the bottom three.
1FC Laundromat
Another season, another name. The team once known as Ocean's XI and Michael Bolton Wanderers turned up as 1FC Laundromat in 2001/02 to claim third spot, having spent most of the season in the lower reaches of mid-table. Yet another triumph for the managerial skills of Rob Hick. See Isle of Man Utd and Michael Bolton Wanderers and Ocean's XI
A Taste of the Raj
Another founding member, A Taste of the Raj "enjoyed" a degree of success in their inaugural season after finishing rock bottom. Having won the Wooden Spoon, they made a gallant effort to achieve a unique double and nab the Fair Play Award in their second year, but ended up falling short. Gave up the ghost at the end of the 2002 season.
Athletico Salford
Failed to set the world alight in their debut season but bounced back the following year to finish in the Top Ten. They also reached the final of the Dreamteam Cup, losing out to Keane As Mustard but had a disappointing campaign last year despite a promising start.
Billy's Boots
Billy's Boots are something of a unique bunch in the field of dreams. Having claimed 3rd spot in 1999/2000, they followed that up by winning the inaugural Dreamteam Cup the following season, becoming the first team to win two trophies in separate season. They failed to match the high standards they set themselves in their third year and went AWOL from the competition.
Bill S Preston North End
Formed in 2000, Bill S Preston NE had a pretty solid debut season and were unlucky to finish outside the money. Worse was to follow in 2001/02 when having endured a terrible start to their campaign, they finished 16th, one spot off the Fair Play Award. They must have liked it there, though, as they conspired to finish 16th again in 2002/03.
Birmingham Shitty
Another founding member, Birmingham Shitty have lived up to their name ever since they came into being and have been spectacularly indifferent. The Carlisle United of the Dreamteam.
Clint Bizzell Juniors  
Crazy name, crazy team. Sister outfit of the Luke Perry All-stars they finished too close to the bottom for their manager's liking. So much so that Simon decided to fold the outfit and ride off into the sunset.
Crazyhorse FC
One of the original founding members, Crazyhorse FC have had two "if only" seasons thanks to poor selections up front. The 'Horse have dallied with the likes of Darren Huckerby, Steffan Iversen and Cedric Roussel in the hope of finding the next Boy Wonder and even had Emile Heskey on their books for a while. That and the odd naff selection in defence (Andy Hinchcliffe and Ben Thatcher spring to mind) have seen them achieve midtable respectability but very little else.
Crumbs DM
Formerly known as Pasta My Arse, Crumbs DM have garnered a reputation for being quick out of the blocks but lacking the stamina to go all the way. Top in 1999/2000 and 2000/01, they failed to hold onto their lead and fell out of the money in the Championship run-in. Better was to follow in 2001/02, when they nabbed Runners-up spot but after a disappointing campaign last time around by their standards, they've decided to call it a day and go out of the competition despite being the current holders of the Dreamteam Cup. See Pasta My Arse.
The Darling Dubs That Play  
From the ruins of Shamrock United, rose The Darling Dubs That Play. They came, they had a look around and then decided to stay put in the lower reaches of the table. Rumour has it that their manager has a nose bleed if the team rises above 15th spot... See Shamrock United.
Duck Utd
For a single season, Duck Utd's star shone very brightly, almost eclipsing the rest of the competition. They came, they saw and they almost conquered but an over-reliance on an aging Teddy Sheringham so them slip to 3rd in the run in. They may return sometime in the near future, but till then, we are left with nothing but the memories of a long stretch at the top.
Feck-Arse-Nil FC  
One of a number of teams that made their debut in 2001/02, Feck-Arse-Nil managed to top the lot by reaching the semi-final of the Dreamteam Cup and capturing the Fair Play Award for finishing 15th. However, after a dismal World Cup campaign, Johnno has decided not to enter a team this season.
Freakin' Last  
One of the original founder members, Freakin' Last were formed as part of a cunningly devious attempt to nab the Wooden Spoon in the League's debut season. However, it all went tits up when A Taste of the Raj walked off with the trophy without even breaking sweat. Seeing the error of his ways, manager Nick Fletcher decided not to follow the same path in 2000/01 and it paid dividends when Freakin' Last nabbed fourth spot in the last week of the season. Called it a day in 2001/02 and have not returned.
Gazton Villa
Manager Gary Delaney had high hopes for Gazton Villa when they were formed back in the summer of 1999, but his young team took time to gel, and in the end they could only finish one spot off of the bottom. Last year saw a marked improvement in fortunes and a Top Ten finish, which bode well for the future. Having got over the truma of buying Noel Whelan, much was expected in 2001/02 but once again the Villa failed to deliver. A career in comedy saw Gazton Villa opt out of the competition but rumour has it they may return in the form of AFC Gazton Villa.
Hicky's Heroes  
Nothing to do with Rob Hick (or Clint Eastwood for that matter) but a late entrant to the Dreamteam race from Craig's dad. Almost nabbed the Fair Play Award and did enough to suggest that could be a threat in 2002/03. However, his team flattered to deceive and finished up in 20th place.
I Just Haven't Got A Clue First XV  
A late entrant in the League's debut season, RB Voce's First XV were left playing catch-up for the remainder of the season. They put in a gallant effort and finished 8th overall. Not bad for a side that missed out on two weeks worth of points. See Lion of Vienna Sleeps Tonight.
Isle of Man Utd  
One day Rob will win this competition, until then he'll always be known as 'Tim Henman'. Third for the second season in succession, he challenged for top spot briefly before seeing off the challenge of Cory and The Bantam Menace. See 1fc Laundromat and Michael Bolton Wanderers and Ocean's XI.
Keane As Mustard  
Having missed out on the title in his debut season, Mark was determined not to see the same thing happen again. He spent big in the summer, changed his name then went on to do the double. Odds on to win the League again, according to Ash anyway. See St. Reatham FC.
Lion of Vienna Sleeps Tonight
Previously known as I Haven't Got A Clue First XV, the Lion of Vienna Sleeps Tonight overcame the handicap of having a preposterously long moniker for the second season running to finish 15th and claim the Fair Play Award. They didn't do much lthe following year and this time last year the following was predicted: "Could finish last." I'm glad to say that they didn't disappoint... See I Haven't Got A Clue First XV.
Luke Perry All-Stars
Having endured a pretty dismal year in 1999/2000, the Luke Perry All-Stars regrouped and hit the comeback trail in pretty spectacular style. All that stood between them and a unique, historic double was a last minute goal from Emile Heskey. In the end, they had to settle for just the Championship but there's no denying that they had a great year. There or thereabouts all season, a late surge saw them overtake Duck Utd and after fighting off a late challenge from St. Reatham FC, they nabbed their first piece of silverware and the Dreamteam title. 2001/02 proved more of a struggle as the All-Stars hobbled home in 17th place and they fell by the wayside.
Michael Bolton Wanderers  
Another founding member of the League, Michael Bolton Wanderers began life in 1999 as Ocean's XI and came from nowhere to claim the Runners-up spot in the League's first season. Poor form and the loss of key players saw the Wanderers struggle to make any impact in the early part of the 2000/01 season. In fact, manager Rob Hick was so despondent that he refused to enter the transfer market and wrote the season off but then his players returned to form and slowly, but surely, they moved up the table. Had the season lasted another month, who knows what would have happened, but in the end they had to settle for a respectable Top Ten finish. See Ocean's XI and 1FC Laundromat and Isle of Man Utd.
Ocean's XI  
Second in 1999/2000, Ocean's XI underwent a name change during the summer and became Michael Bolton Wanderers. Grabbed second spot in the last week of the season to deny Pasta My Arse a money-winning spot. See Michael Bolton Wanderers and 1FC Laundromat and Isle of Man Utd.
Oh Sheffield  
Having spent most of the season at the bottom of the table, Adrian decided not to settle for the Wooden Spoon and spent heavily during the transfer window. His ploy paid off and he not only caught up with the Lone Ranger but overtook them in the closing stages to mark an, er, remarkable recovery.
Partick Duffy Thistle
Partick Duffy Thistle's season never really got going as they stumbled out of the starting blocks. Improved slightly the following season, but not by much.
Pasta My Arse  
Having been in the top three for most of the season, Pasta My Arse found themselves in fourth place and out of the money on the last day of the season. It had been a good year for one of the founding members until then. My, how we laughed. See Crumbs DM
Rushden Anne Diamonds  
Great name, crap team.
Salford Strokers  
Some say that Salford is only big enough for one team but the Strokers were having none of it and set about challenging Athletico's hold over the town. But while Athletic were reaching the Cup Final and achieving a Top Ten finish, the Strokers had to make do with 12th place. Worse was to follow in 2002/03 when the Strokers finished one spot of the bottom and below Athletico...
Shamrock United  
The Dreamteam entered Europe with this entry from Dublin. A solid start went someway to indicating that the Craic may well be mighty but poor form after Christmas saw "The Rock" drop out of the running. See The Darling Dubs That Play
Soft Centres  
Having been promoted from the Beazer Old Folks Home League the previous season, the Soft Centres struggled in their debut season in the Dreamteam. Having spent big on their forward line, they had insufficient funds for the rest of the team and as a result, their defence was somewhat lacking. Rumours abound that they were about to fold, unable to stand the pace of professional football, but they reappeared at the last minute and went on to nab fourth spot in 2001/02. A good finish last season saw them claim another top ten place as they stormed into 6th place.
Spakatak Toxteth
Having promised so much, the Merseysiders failed to deliver in their debut season and fell away badly towards the end. Having said that, they almost grabbed the Fair Play Trophy but in the end had to settle for midtable obscurity They followed this up with a Top Five finish, missing out on the money in the last week of play. Was strongly fancied to win last season if only on the basis that she no longer worked for Gary but couldn't but couldn't keep the tradition going and came home in 11th before calling it a day.
St. Reatham FC
A strong debut season saw St. Reatham claim second spot but they'll be disappointed they didn't take first prize. A bad move in the transfer market saw them opt for Graeme Le Saux over Ian Harte, which cost them the title. See Keane As Mustard
Sunday Stroolers
Promised much, in both the Cup and the League, before tailing off in the run-in. A Semi-Final spot and a top ten finish won't be much consolation to a team that led the field during the early part of the season.
Supersonic FC
A strong finish in 2001/02, coupled with a Cup Semi-Final appearance, saw Supersonic FC consolidate their previous impresTop Ten Dreamteam finish. Manager Nicola Kelly underwent a name change in the finals weeks of the 2000/01 season in the hope of distracting her rivals, but it was too little too late. A poor mid-season put paid to her outside chances of a UEFA Cup spot and she finished ninth. Things went from bad to worse in 2002/03 when a team built around David Beckham failed to make any impact on the competition.
The Lone Rangers/The Lone Rangers Return
Having put aside the fact that you can hardly be alone when there's more than one of you, The Lone Rangers had a mixed season, which finally died a death in the closing weeks. The decision not to make any changes to their line-up saw Tonto wave the white flag and Silver shipped off to the knackers yard...
The Porcelain Horse
Having won the inaugural title in 1999/2000 (under the guise of Ugly But Dangerous), everyone thought The Porcelain Horse were the team to beat. In the end, the pressure was too much for Callum Campbell and the Champion lost his crown without putting up a reasonable fight. Still, any team that can go an entire season at the top of the league cannot be written off but Callum decided enough was enough and disappeared around the U-bend. See Ugly But Dangerous.
Torpedo Bermondsey
The Bermondsey Boys will look back on their debut season with mixed feelings. Having started slowly, they sank to the bottom of the pack and looked down and out before a mid-season surge saw them fly up the table in a Lazarus-type fashion. 2001/02 saw them finish 7th and great things were expected the following year but after a fantastic start, they disappeared from view and had to be content with a semi-final place in the Cup.
Ugly But Dangerous  
Winners of the first-ever Dreamteam title in 1999/2000. Ugly But Dangerous led from the end of September until the end of the season and in all that time, no one got close. Needless to say, they won the title quite comfortably - thanks largely to the efforts of Kevin Phillips - but they struggled the following season and tried to hide the fact by changing their name. See The Porcelain Horse.
Villa Rejects  
If ever a team lived up to their name, it was the Villa Rejects. Packed with the crust-laden cream of Aston Villa's cast-offs, on paper the Rejects looked quite strong. In the end, they ended their debut season at the bottom of the pile to win the Wooden Spoon. Like the Soft Centres, the gulf in class between them and the rest of the League was all to apparent, and like Freakin' Last, they too have folded.
Whatever/Whatever Again  
Never one to be rushed, Jay's debut season had all the hallmarks of a team that couldn't really be bothered. Still, whetted the appetite enough to make a return. Whether it was whetted enough to return for a third season of mediocrity remains to be seen.
Woodbourne Rovers  
Nick's mum has had a horrid time with her dreamteams. You can guarantee that one of her players will pick up a serious injury on the opening day of the season and last year proved no exception. An unlucky start meant she was always playing catch-up.